Hey guys! What's goin' on over here huh?

Oh, whoops! Sorry! Did I spill that. Aww that's a shame. Probably ruined your shirt for your big date tonight huh?

Oh, you don't have dates do you guys? Not like me, 'cause I'm starting tight end and, well you know, we're going to State this year. And coach says I've got a chance for honorable mention at all-district and.. Hey you guys write for the school paper, maybe you could do an article for us this Friday. Or maybe I could kick your ass!

Seriously, how much do you bench. You see these pythons? Look, GNC doesn't charge that for nothin'. Fucking PowerPowderBlastMaxx makes me rrrrrripped. And angry alright? So don't fuck with me alright?

You got a quarter? You? You got a quarter? Huh? C'mon, check this shit out. I'll flick it at the lunch lady. Check this shit out. Blau! Got that prude-ass bitch. Total dyke. My dad told me all about that shit. He's on the force.

You see that girl over there? Wendy Madison? I fucked her. Yeah, first date and all.

Check this out, one time I was so wasted. I'm fuckin' driving my Jeep Wrangler right? Case of Red Dog in the back. Yo you know the label looks like batman eating a girl out right? Turn that upside down, you'll see what i'm talkin about. Gimme another quarter. Blau! Yeah, eat that muff.

Ok, so the reason I'm over here is to tell you that Wendy Madison told me to tell you that she really likes you and wants you to talk to her. But she thinks it's really sexy when guys approach her with their fly down. No, I'm serious, do it. DO IT. C'mon, you know her, she's a slut right? She knows you got a fucking soup can in there cheif. Go for it.

Look, guys, you know me, I'm Chad, I'm the Chadinator, you know I wouldn't fuck with you guys, I like you guys, you guys are alright, I mean, I got nothing against you geeks, you're not like faggots. So we got the big game coming up, you know, Homecoming. You guys get dates yet? Probably not. But we're friends, so, you know, I'm running into a little trouble with Consumer Math. Teacher's a real dick. But you know, I've got this paper, and I'm not like asking you to write it. But you we're friends, and you know what friends do for each other, right, champ? They help each other out.

So you help me out, I'll help you out. How? I'll make sure the rest of the football team don't kick your fucking ass, that's how. But seriously, if I'm in-ell, un-ell, don't correct me, faggot, if I can't play on Friday because you don't get that paper--

See that chick over there, no not that chick, the other chick. I fucked her. Well I fucked the other chick too but I fucked her hard.

Oh dude, I guess it didn't go so well with Wendy. Are you crying? Anyway, so if you guys could help me out with that paper, you know, that'd be great. Oh, dude, the drama-fags are here. Stay cool little homeys, I've got some theater ass to kick. Yo and zip up your fly.